I died for the first time at the age of 9, and now I am dying again
"How is this possible?" - you will probably ask. Mzia Dzamukashvili knows the answer to this question very well. She first died at the age of 9 when she went blind. Her world was gone. Her childhood ended and her life ended too. Mzia buried and mourned her dreams. And then she was resurrected for another life - in eternal darkness. She learned to live by touch - to walk, read, recognize other people. She learned not to dream about great joys. Her fate was like an evil stepmother, it was not going to give her love, the joy of motherhood, happiness.
It seems that some people have to go through all the circles of hell during their earth life. Mzia is already old, but her torment continues. Now she is not just blind. She is lonely, she is starving. "Now I am dying a slow death," - says Mzia, "because of hunger and because everyone forgot about me"
Can't we give her whatever she deserves at least now?! Can't we brighten her days with love, support, care?!
“I don’t know why so many trials befell me”
- Mzia, tell us about your life and problems, and we will be your mouthpiece and convey your story to a large audience of our readers so that they can help.
Mzia: I am all alone facing a hard reality... Blind, with a million of sores, lonely and poor. Recently I have been living from hand to mouth. After the death of my mother, I feel that nobody cared about me. She died one year ago after a long illness and three strokes. It felt that the ground had slipped out from under my feet. Mom was the whole world for me, I saw everything around with her eyes. She was never tired of telling me things, teaching me, surprising me. My poor mom, let her rest in peace. She suffered a lot with me. It was such a big blow for her when she found out that I went blind.
- How did it happen, Mzia? Was there any chance to retain your vision?
Mzia: If the doctors had discovered the reason in time, perhaps I would have seen you now. The problem was caused by a cyst in my head, which made my vision to deteriorate dramatically. My parents urgently took me to Moscow to the Burdenko hospital, where I was operated on. But we were too late. A terrible diagnosis that sounded like a verdict - optic nerve atrophy. At the age of 9, my childhood ended, and pitch darkness fell...
- Poor little Mzia. How can a 9-year-old child bear this? Yesterday, the whole world was yours, but suddenly your hopes and dreams were taken away from you and you were pushed into darkness...
Mzia: That little girl was very scared. I laid on the floor and cried for hours. And no one could calm me down and comfort me. Mom and Dad were heartbroken. I could not understand: why? Why has it happened to me? On October 5, 1965, I went to school for the last time while I was able to see. And a life that awaited me was completely different.
- What did you remember before that terrible day when you went blind?
Mzia: We were an ordinary family: my mom, my dad, my younger brother, and me. My parents worked hard - they did their best to keep the family. I grew up an inquisitive and a sociable child, I walked a lot, I read a lot. At some point, it became hard for me to study. I couldn't write evenly, no matter how hard I tried. I quickly got tired of reading. My head began to ache, my eyes were watery and burning. My parents were very worried, and the doctors did not say anything specific. But this was the beginning of the end, a harbinger of imminent blindness.
All these years, my childhood memories are with me: all the faces that I saw, the places I have been to. The latest vivid pictures are my holidays in Kobuleti, where my grandmother took me. The sea at dawn - so quiet and transparent, colored pebbles on the shore, seagulls. Lots of sunburned people, umbrellas, sun loungers. Hot boiled corn sprinkled with salt on the beach. Ships that sailed to Batumi. And in the evening - beautifully dressed vacationers walking along the boulevard... I never saw the sea with adult eyes.
- It is still endless, as it used to be in your childhood, Mzia.
Mzia: It's good that I remember this piece of happiness.
- How did your life go further?
Mzia: My parents had to transfer me from secondary school # 3 in Telavi to a specialized school for the blind in Tbilisi, in Avlabar. Of course, it was difficult for my family to rearrange their life, but there was no other way out. It was hard for me to get used to it as well: my friends, former teachers - everyone were left in Telavi. I started again from scratch, like a first grader. I learned Braille, listened to sounds, moved by touch. Oh, how stubborn I was at first and then for a very, very long time. Children who were blind from birth studied with me, and it seemed to me that I was different - different from them. My story was special, because I just recently was able to see. I know what my mother looks like, what waves on the sea look like, what a sunset is... And they didn't know that! They won't understand me. But after a while, I realized that I was as blind as all my classmates and there was no difference between us. That I had to get used to the fact that now it will always be like this.
At the age of 9, Mzia had to learn Braille to be able to read again
I really wanted to continue my studies after school. I entered the Faculty of Philology at the Ivane Javakhishvili State University. I graduated with honors. Later I worked in the Union of the Blind, at the local radio Kwanji as editor-in-chief. Years later, when the radio was closed, and I led a literary society at the Culture Center. I quit my job when my mother got sick. I wanted to spend a longer time with her. After the death of my brother and father, she remained my only family. My only soul mate.
- Mzia, are there any of your relatives left?
Mzia: One can say so. (Sighs.) Formally, they are. But they don't communicate with me. They don't need me. They will call me once a year for show. There is no support or help from them - actually, I don’t even expect it. I don't blame anyone. I know that everyone has their own life, and no one needs any extra problems with an old blind woman. But it feels so bitter that my beloved niece, my brother's only daughter, has forgotten me. She does not come, does not call, does not want to communicate with me. That's how I was left alone. I couldn't build my own family. I live out my days all alone, unwanted, forgotten, hungry and cold. Why does a man need such a lonely and bitter old age? To suffer?
No one calls the old home phone for a long now
- Mzia, it hurts me so much to hear such bitter words!
How desperate our people are! It's true that relatives are not doing the best but taking care of the weak and those in need is the direct responsibility of the state. Do you get any help from them?
Mzia: I get something, but how can I live on it?! My pension is 250 GEL, plus annually I get 100 GEL from the mayor's office for medications. Just try to survive with that. You should distribute 250 GEL between food, utilities and medications. Could I ever guess that I would have to live in debt in my old age? To beg for groceries at the store. I'm afraid that something bad can happen to me. It is dangerous for me to starve because of diabetes but I am often hungry. I also suffer from joint pains; my blood pressure jumps up and down. I need to visit a doctor, but I can’t afford that. I addressed you and I really hope that kind people will help me...
Bread, tomatoes, cucumbers - that's her entire day menu
- Mzia, do you believe in human kindness?
Mzia: I believe in it, but not all people are equally kind. (Sighs.) In recent years, I have become disappointed with my loved ones. It hurts me that they left me to the mercy of fate. But I am grateful to God that my best neighbors are next to me. They substituted my relatives for me! Even though Maka, Seda and Laura have their families and many worries, they always find time for me too. One will come to tidy up, the other will throw out the trash, the third will take me out for a walk. Thank them for their care and love!
Once it happened so that I did not have enough money to buy the medication in the pharmacy, and a stranger bought it for me. I addressed you in the hope that kind people will help. You have so many responsive readers. I’m alone all the time, like a lost one. I don’t know where to go, where to seek for help. But I think that I can hope for you. You will help me, right?
- Of course, our readers will help you! You will see! They will cure all your troubles with their attention and love.
Mzia: I wish so! How much can one person withstand? I got a bitter lot.
- Mzia, what helped you not to lose hope and is holding you now? Are you religious?
Mzia: If not for faith, would I have lived to this day? When such a misfortune happens to you, your despair is huge. In faith, I found peace, humility, I became able to accept myself and be grateful for everything that I have in my life. Of course, I dreamed of a different life. My disease crushed all my dreams, put an end to everything. I found myself in a different reality, but I found the strength to live on. God blessed me by giving me the best parents - so empathetic and caring. They illuminated my dark path with their love. In the most difficult days, I felt that God was with me!
"I live my days alone, forgotten by everyone"
- What do you need the most right now? What would you like to ask our readers for?
Mzia: As you can see, I live very modestly. Money is barely enough for food, there is absolutely no money left for medications and treatment... I am worried and nervous about how to cope in winter. Payment for utilities will double, and there will be nothing left for food.
I dream about TV. Don't get surprised. Although I do not see the image, I really want to at least listen to programs, TV shows, films, and concerts. I am devoid of any joy. I am very sad and lonely, the TV would distract me from heavy thoughts. I have no water heater (storage water heater). I wash dishes in ice-cold water with my aching hands. My neighbor Seda lent me the refrigerator. That's how I live. I will be grateful for any support! My neighbor Maka could not stand looking at my suffering anymore and advised me to ask you for help. I now have all my hopes for you. Help me, please, I beg you! Don't pass by.
Friends, do you hear that?! How much sadness, anxiety, tiredness, pain is there in this timid call for help. Mzia has endured so much, she has suffered too much! Now lonely and sick Mzia Dzamukashvili lives from hand to mouth, forgotten and abandoned by everyone. Every day it becomes more difficult for her to take care of herself, her physical condition is getting worse, there is not enough money even for food! We can give her things that she urgently needs right now: food, medications, home appliances. And things that she was deprived of for so long: joy, love, attention.
Let's give her that hope right now!
You can personally get acquainted with Mzia, provide her with all possible help. Her address is: Kvemo Ponichala, 12 A Rustavi Highway.
Please repost our story. Let your friends know about the grief of Mzia Dzamukashvili! It’s extremely important!
Friends, there is one more request - if you know about the misfortune of a neighbor or friend do a godly deed, drop us an email at: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Our Fund’s accounts are:
(purpose: Mzia Dzamukashvili).
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We have already helped many disadvantaged people! Let’s support Mzia Dzamukashvili too! And who knows, maybe someday we ourselves will need help of strangers!
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