“The sentence to suffer to such single people like me is pronounced by those officials whose duty is to take care of the suffering!  I am a citizen of Georgia and am proud of it! But my God, it hurts so much! I think that such an attitude towards people is unacceptable!

I dreamed of death so often! I keep thinking, is there worse suffering in hell? What could be worse?! I am almost on fire - this disgusting disease consumes me. I even tore my hair out, banged my head against walls in pain... I have no legs! Is that legs? And when hunger and loneliness are added to this pain ... No one would give water to me, even if I were dying. Probably, they will find my exhausted body only in a few days” - tells us crying Mariam, leaning on a walker. She hardly opened the door for us and with tears, but warmly and cordially invited us to her home.

 “This is how I can barely move ... I have no strength in my hands, I can’t lean. I can’t rely on my hands anymore ... "

Mariam Sadzaglishvili is 60 years old. She is a category I disabled. For 20 years she has been suffering from serious diseases, she cannot move without aids. Although it is hard for her to use them - she lives completely alone. She has no one to help, no one to give her medication, no one to give her water to drink. Loneliness and lack of funds make her suffering even more severe.

 “I am completely alone, there is no one to even give me some water...”

Mariam: Three ailments at once are trying to defeat me. Although I am already defeated. Probably, only death is worse than this... My diseases are polyneuritis, osteoporosis and coxarthrosis. My stomach is completely destroyed after so many drugs and hormones that I have taken for so many years. I have a stomach ulcer and erosion of duodenum. But I won’t be able to stand hellish pain without drugs, medications are vital for me. I can't afford buying them now and you can see how much I suffer. I can only buy hormonal drugs with my pension. Then I go hungry. If you knew how often I couldn't sleep because of hunger... (Cries.)

 “No one will come to help me even if I scream…”

I'm embarrassed to bother anyone. I don’t even know my neighbors here, they are so closed, they don’t communicate with anyone. Who needs anyone as sick and useless as me?! May I lie down? It hurts a lot when I sit like this...

 “I don’t have an orthopedic mattress, and I can’t lie on this. It's very hard for me…"

Mariam: No problem, I can talk. I miss talking to people. I'm alone all the time. I lost my father a long time ago, my mother died four years ago, I have no brothers, no sisters. I've never been married. I have no children, no one to take care of me. I only talk to walls. They are the only spectators of my groans and sobs.

Mariam: Oh, forget it... My relatives have long thrown me out as a useless thing. And friends slowly disappeared.

"Nobody needs me like that anymore ..."

Sometimes a priest comes to visit me, Father Gocha. Only he is my hope and comfort. I confess. But once he was angry with me because of my suicidal thoughts.

Mariam: How not to think about that? Pain, loneliness... I suffocate in this dungeon. My foot has not stepped to the ground for so long. It is sin, but these thoughts come to my mind on their own. I used to read books to distract, but now my vision has deteriorated. And well, the pain won’t let you read.

 "I dreamed of death because of pain many times"

I was paralyzed twice. The first time it happened when I just got polyneuritis. And 8 years ago, it happened for the second time. For eight years now, I can’t walk at all.

Mariam: About twenty years. For forty years, I have been an architect, a woman full of strength and energy. I was active, I loved life. I worked, I was successful, and I had many friends. 

It was winter. I felt numbness in my limbs, which did not pass. I was taken to an infectious diseases hospital. As far as I remember, the doctor there was Deisadze. I was diagnosed with polyneuritis. It seemed I overcame the disease - I did not give up. But two years later I got paralyzed. After some time, I managed to get back on my feet. Of course, I could no longer work. I could not live an active life, but I was not that helpless. 

"I can't look at the photos of my youth without tears"

Mom looked after me for many years. You know how good my mother was. I miss my beautiful mother a lot. Then my mother grew older, got sick. She had Alzheimer's disease, and she herself needed care. Can you imagine in what situation we found ourselves? I barely walked when I looked after my beloved mother. But my condition got worse. I got coxarthrosis and osteoporosis, like I didn't have enough problems.

 “Only my mother’s heart hurt for me. But she also left ... my soul burns! 

Mariam: You had a home care program. We were your beneficiaries. Your representatives came and looked after my mom.  She did not have a single bedsore. I remember well your kindness. Your fund gave me this walker. Four years ago, my mother died at the age of 92. And my situation became even worse. I was left completely alone.

While my mother was alive, we received her pension and social allowance. It was at least something. After the death of my mother, I no longer get allowance. How can they disqualify a needy person like me, who is almost always starving, from getting social allowance? The state pays me a pension - 275 GEL, 65 GEL from there is kept by the bank, 210 GEL is left. Please tell me, how a person who is seriously ill, who cannot even go down for medicines and food, should survive on these 210 GEL?

 “Here is my supply. In fact, I'll starve." 

It's also good that I have a confessor. God bless him. He is the rector of the church in the name of the Archangels, my Father Gocha. He is very sorry for me. He helps me in any way he can. He is short on funds. Father has many children - he has a lot of worries. And what a blessing and virtue it is that he finds time for me too!

A nurse from Caritas also comes and cleans up my house. I can't live in dirt. I am grateful to her! It was she who called your Fund, I would never be able to get your number. I have no Internet and I can't leave my home. When I need something, I ask the Father. Lela (a nurse at Caritas) or a priest get my pension. They also bring me food and medications.

Mariam: Oh, no! How can I disturb anyone every day? They do it once a week, and I'm grateful for that. Food is not enough for an entire week, and I stay hungry... (Cries.)

 “Do you know how difficult it is to endure hunger and pain at the same time…”     

Mariam: Because of a 1700 GEL loan, which I took from the bank when I needed medications. It was necessary and urgent then. It keeps being necessary and urgent, but now the bank will not give me a loan. Even if he does, how will I pay it off? If they keep more money from my pension, I will become unable to exist. So, I'd rather die right now...

Mariam: Really? I need help with medications and food. Maybe someone will have an orthopedic mattress so that I can at least lie normally. Probably, soon, I won’t be able to do anything except for this.

“They gave me this wheelchair. But I still can’t leave my home without someone’s help ... "

If you only knew what a big hope you gave me! I will pray for everyone every day. And now I pray every day and confess. Since childhood I have lived according to church rules. Perhaps this faith has helped me to survive until now. I always told myself: “You can’t fall! You must do that!” Now, when it has become so difficult for me, when the pains have become unbearable, suicidal thoughts haunt me. Then the priest scolds me, and I repent. Lord, forgive me a sinner!

 “I pray every day and ask the Lord to save all those in need”

Mariam: Once a year they gave me 300 GEL as alms. It was what it was. I was grateful for that. Last year they only transferred me 100 GEL. Dear Government! My situation did not improve - it got worse. Instead of increasing aid you decrease it? I don't even know who to complain to. You see that I can't walk. I can't go anywhere and ask for anything. Even to get documents, I will have to disturb the priest. I only disturb him when the situation is hopeless. He has many spiritual children who are just as needy as I am. It is hard to find time for everyone. You, probably, know.

Mariam: Moving here was a separate story. Do you want me to tell it?

Mariam: When my mom died, I was left completely alone. It was very hard time. I had a big flat. I decided to ask my friend to take care of me and give her a part of my flat in exchange.  She was renting an apartment - she did not have one of her own. And she offered me to sell my apartment, because she would not fit there with her family. She said she had savings. “I will add money,” she said, “and I will buy a better apartment, with more rooms. You will have your own room and we will all fit in.” This was the beginning of my new misfortune.

She helped me sell my apartment. It was time to move from there. But my friend was in no hurry to buy a new apartment. The new owner of my apartment turned out to be a man of God. Having learned about my situation, he did not rush me to move. And how could I move, being in such a situation?! My friend did not even think about our agreement, which we even sealed with a contract.

Months passed... And she not only didn’t buy any apartment, but she didn’t even ask how I was. Then, when I threatened her with a lawsuit and reminded her of the terms of our contract, and she “threw” me this room of 20 square meters. She calculated all the expenses, even price of containers in which she once brought me lunch ...

Finally, she tricked me. But I wouldn't be able to go to the court. I'm already dying ... So, I agreed to live in this "matchbox". It was better than staying in the street. I don't know why people are born like this. I trusted her and wished her everything good. But she failed me. Now there is no one to care for me; there is no one to empathize with me. I am a prisoner of this dungeon with the highest measure of pain!

Mariam: A family! I probably would have created a family. I would give birth to a child. I regret a lot that I did not get married. Once I was in love ... My father did not allow me to marry him. Back then times were different. My father was very strict, I was afraid of him. Then the problems began. I was 38 years old when I had to be operated on the uterus. They cut off everything. It was before I got polyneuritis. I had to endure so much pain in my life...

 “My muscles are so weakened ... I lost 15 kilograms. Soon skin and bones will remain from me ... "

Mariam: I recall a sad story again. Can I tell it?

Mariam: A few years ago, one friend of mine promised to help me. I could still walk then. I came to her, but she was not at home - she left abroad. Now I think that she called me intentionally at a time when she knew that she would no longer be in Georgia. I returned crying. It was my last hope. 

When I reached the metro station, I found that my wallet disappeared. I probably lost it on the way, or someone stole it. I stood at the entrance, and bitter tears flowed down my cheeks. No one noticed me, no one helped me. I asked, but the controller did not let me in without a ticket. It hurt me a lot. That's how unlucky I was from the very beginning...

Then I returned and barely reached home. I walked from Marjanishvili to Varketili, although my legs were already hurting badly. But, if I could walk so much now, I would probably have passed this distance ten times a day ...

 "I was unlucky from the very beginning ..."

***     

Friends, I believe that the story of Mariam touched each of you. Her situation is hopeless, indeed! She has no food, no medications. Her pain gets stronger, her condition worsens. If we do not help her urgently, then it may be too late. Once they did not notice her crying at the entrance to the subway, hurt her. We will not repeat this. Let's take her tightly by the hand - who knows, maybe she holds it out for the last time ...

If anyone of you decides to visit Mariam Sadzaglishvili personally, here is her address: Tbilisi, Vasisubani settlement, the third microdistrict, the second quarter, 20 Jumber Lizhava Street, apartment 911.

May the Lord save and bless everyone who sympathizes and supports those in need!

If you have a heavy heart because of everyday problems or unresolved issues, as a distraction just see our posts on Facebook, or better call any of our beneficiaries, and all your problems will seem unimportant to you, compared with the problems of those to whom you helped in the most difficult moment of their lives.

Our problems are noting if compared... Here are true misfortunes, in front of your eyes! Just thank the Lord for what you have. You are the happiest person in the world! Remember this and help those in need.

Every time you can help someone, just do it and rejoice that God answers someone's prayers through you! We are sure that together we can warm her heart and give her confidence in the future.

Please don’t forget to repost our story. Let your friends know about the grief of this family! It’s extremely important!

Friends, there is one more request: if you know about the misfortune of a neighbor or friend do a godly deed, drop us an email at: office-fsp@fsp.ge.

Our Fund’s accounts are:

#GE15TB7194336080100003

#GE42LB0115113036665000

#GE64BG0000000470458000

(Purpose: The Sadzaglishvili family)

You can also transfer money from our website.

It is also possible to transfer money from TBCpay and ExpressPay terminals. Find our Fund under "Charity" section (you can read more about rights and responsibilities of the Fund following the link https://goo.gl/GY2Gus).

We have already helped thousands of disadvantaged people! Let’s support this family too! And who knows, maybe someday we ourselves will need help of strangers! Life is always unpredictable!

We have good news: now you can read the stories of our beneficiaries on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chernovetskyi.fund/ and Telegram: https://t.me/ChernovetskyiFund.

Even if you dial once this special number, it might save someone's life: 0901200270! God bless you!